Neuroplasticity

Three nights ago, I heard from a friend that she was reading my blog. In jest she was calling me a Pollyanna and was “sick of all my dreamy stories.” Continuing with her comedy bit, she suggested I switch things up a bit and write about porn. So here it goes...

 P.O.R.N. (Positively Optimistically Render Neuroplasticity)

(O.k. my 7-yr-old daughter just walked over and read my screen and started singing “Porn in the U.S.A. I was Porn in the U.S.A….” Look what I will do for my readers.)

P.O.R.N., Neuroplasticity is a science that proves that our thoughts can change the structure and function of our brains.

I have been living in my happy bubble, but yesterday it popped. It started by listening to gossip. Then digging further into that gossip. Then believing that gossip. Feeling overwhelmed about the gossip. Then suddenly, I was in a dark hole feeling helpless.

Since I let all that crap in, yesterday went like this; I woke up and had a ridiculous fight (about NOTHING) with my husband in which I was signing so fiercely (He is Deaf) that I scratched a huge gauge into my forehead. I then called out an acquaintance on Facebook, for lying and all it did was made me feel bad about myself. I went to grab milk for the dinner I was making for 20 kids, and my debit card strip wouldn’t run through their machine, so I had to go to my car and scrap up change and in turn held up the entire line. I got home late last night and finally had time to eat my dinner, but as I was moving the plate from the kitchen to the table, it dropped!

I know that if I wouldn’t have let-in all that negative talk and I wouldn’t have let it fester inside my head, my day yesterday would have been much different.

We need to choose our thoughts carefully and only take-in what will P.O.R.N. If we don’t, we will continue to have bad days. Pollyannas will annoy us, instead of inspire us and our happy bubble will be harder to blow back up.

On those inevitable bad days, when the migraine sets in, take the advice of Louise L. Hay from her book You Can Heal Your Life and masturbate that pain away, she advises it’s a surefire solution and I believe it falls under P.O.R.N., so it’s a Win. Win.

GUILT BY ASSOCIATION: SURROUNDING YOURSELF WITH WHAT/WHOM BRINGS YOU JOY

There were a few weeks before summer when the kids and I were doing almost weekly sleepovers at our friends home just 30 miles from our house. My husband was putting in several hours a week at work and the kids and I would find ourselves having dinner, hanging out and staying over night; a mini getaway for a change of scenery. My name is Sarah. I’m 38-years-old and I still slumber party.

One night my overly exhausted, over worked husband spouted, “Life’s not a vacation, Sarah.” I took a deep breath as I knew my husband really didn’t mind the kids and I getting out of the house. He was getting home after we were all in bed those nights anyway, so there was no neglect to claim. My typically witty self, declared, “Why not?”

It wasn’t two weeks after this exchange that our family was on vacation in beautiful Colorado. My husband and I were looking at properties with our real estate agent and he was painting a lovely picture for us. He told us “Living in Colorado was like being on vacation everyday.” Insert the exchange of winks.

There is something about Colorado that just makes you feel happy. The sun shines over 300 days a year. People tend to be more active; hiking, biking, skiing, rock climbing, running, yoga in the park and the list goes on. Also, people tend to be health conscience; ‘organic’ is the name of the game. There’s also a sense that the entire state is environmentally conscience and you better be too or it’s going to cost you at least .10 a bag.

Our family spends time in Colorado at least once a year. You can’t help but to feel happy there. This time, I came back with a game plan for my future and my husband came back announcing our family will go vegan.

There are places and people that uplift us. It’s our responsibility to surround ourselves with what brings us joy and block out the things that don’t. Explore the world and bring the best parts back home. Meet and engage with new people often. Keep in your life the friendships that encourage you to evolve into an even better individual and wish well the ones who won’t.

“Love the life you live, live the life you love.” –Bob Marley

POSITIVE ENERGY A WIN WIN

When you’re enthusiastic about what you do, you feel this positive energy. It’s very simple. –Paulo Coelho

Positive energy builds a positive community.

I went to school to become a sign language interpreter. I worked as an interpreter for several years before my husband and I decided we’d serve our family better by my staying home. This shift in my life gave me an opportunity to reevaluate my passions.

Most people go to work for the paycheck. They may be great at what they do, but is it something they’d choose to do over “their dream job”? 

If you listed all the things you were passionate about and all of your hobbies, is there one thing on that list you’re getting paid to do? If not, act! You could start working towards a career change today and in the meantime volunteer your free time doing something your enthusiastic about.

Obtain a positive energy flow.

I’m passionate about: Education, Politics, and Energy Work.

My hobbies are: Entertaining, Public speaking, and Travel.

Looking at my list I guess my ideal job for pay would be an International Educational Lobbyist or at least playing one on T.V.  I’m going to have to see if such an opportunity exist and is available. Until, I obtain that job, I will continue to volunteer my free time to each of these areas. This is exactly how I’m been able to sustain a positive energy flow in my own life: teaching, advocating for students, acting, public speaking, traveling, working on campaigns, writing, and the list goes on.

Try this! List your passions and your hobbies. If you’re not getting paid to do what’s on your list, then volunteer your time doing something that excites you... until you're raking in the big bucks. The saying isn’t ‘take care of your own’, it’s “It takes a village”. Give back. It’s a WIN WIN!

NOW BOARDING

Twelve years ago, I was a 26 year-old single mom. I was going to school full-time, living back at home and working nights cleaning office buildings. Sounds like an awesome way to spend your 20’s, right? In a five-year period, I had been in eight weddings. I was honored to be a part of each and every one of them. Those were some of the most beautiful days I ever experienced. Truth be told, I also was feeling extremely lonely and couldn’t see my own future.

Early in 2001, a friend of mine invited me to go to France with him. He was taking a two-week class in Lille to finish his Masters and wanted the company. He worked for my mom and had asked her first if he could invite me. I’m pretty sure she doubted it would work out.

How many people in my situation would have thought such a trip was feasible? How many people would have thought their child couldn’t live without them for two weeks? How many people would fill their minds with all the reason they shouldn’t go?

I believe if there is a will, there’s a way. Here’s the thing, I’ve always seen OPPORTUNITY. So I said, “Yes!”

My friend told me that the hotel he had in Lille had two beds and was fully paid for included in his cost of the class. He said I’d have to get a passport, pay for my flight and take my own spending money. I’d also have to plan for my five-year-old son for the two weeks I’d be gone.

My mother graciously offered to take a week off from work to stay home with my son. I then called my father, whom lived 1000 miles away and asked if he could come out and take over for the second week. He agreed!

The money came through like a miracle. I had a huge tax return that hit my bank as soon as I accepted the invitation. That money paid for my passport, flight, spending money and then some!

Everything came together. I would have never imagined at that point of my life having an opportunity like that one. The fact that it came to fruition still excites me. That trip encompasses the most memorable two weeks of my life. It was a break, a breath of fresh air. I grew-up a lot and most importantly saw that the world was bigger than myself.

I believe we all need to get a way from the daily grind that is our lives. Take time for yourself and time with your family. Whether it’s for a weekend, a week, or a month, getting away refreshes and renews you. You gain perspective.

Where will YOU go next?

LATHER UP

This is a short blog that I forgot to post on Friday. It’s a reminder for you to take care of yourself and to treat yourself as you would others. Don’t save all your bests just for your guests.

This morning as I was searching for the news on the flooding in Boulder, CO, I stopped on the TODAY Show. They were unwrapping the latest fashions in, toilet paper. Yep! That’s right, toilet paper. The paper came from Japan, and had delicate drawings of flowers and such painted on each ply. I don’t even know what the going price of such an amenity cost. They just implied it was expensive. (I bet you could find it at Marshalls or TJ Maxx soon.)

What really caught my attention was the commentary between Natalie Morales and Al Roker. After they talked about the newest product, Al suggested, “Natalie, gift the rolls to her father-in-law. (Whom was visiting.)” Natalie then replied, “Yes! These would be perfect for guests.”

I understand putting out your best amenities for your houseguests. I love putting together goodies, fine soaps, flowers and such for my friends and family when they visit. I want them to feel welcomed, comfortable and loved. I just wonder if we are treating ourselves with such respect. The women in my family are good at this. They know how to pamper themselves and I love using their shower or tub when I visit them. I’m getting better at collecting luxuries for myself and so should you.

Are the comforts of your home, worthy of you? Are your everyday towels, plush? Do you use fancy soap or your husband’s Irish Spring? Is your shower filled with foot scrubs, facial cleaners and does your shampoo cost more than $0.79? I believe your bathroom should be your personal spa. Light some candles and lather up!

P.S. This goes for the men too. There’s nothing more attractive than a good smelling man. ;)

TAP INTO IT

So many times in life we find ourselves conflicted. I’ve been accused of “talking out of both sides of my mouth.” It’s a gift. I can see both sides to every issue. I may lean one-way or another, but I’m able to empathize and relate to others. I can argue both points of view as well. I don’t believe I can necessarily change another person’s core beliefs, but if you’re open to the “impossible” maybe something you hear will get in.

Last night, I had an insignificant conflict. My oldest son and I were home alone. I sat with him and watched football. I have zero interest in sports, but I gave in and let him control the entertainment for the night. We watched the New York Giants play the Denver Broncos. Just to be silly, I posted a Facebook status stating I was conflicted on whom I should be rooting for. Denver, because I lived there for ten years or New York because that’s the state I reside in now. Of course, I choose the Broncos because their colors are orange and blue. If I’m forced to root for one team or another I typically lean towards the colors of my alma mater. Most comments on my status agreed and suggested that I root for Denver. They won! I totally manifested that. 

More often, we find ourselves conflicted on more important issues than football. Sometimes we may need guidance on what to do next. Currently, I’m reading the book, E-Squared: Nine Do-It-Yourself Energy Experiments That Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality. Everyone needs to read this book, written by Pam Grout. Pam teaches the reader to seek specific results for ones life. Positive thinking and manifesting can change your life. I have been seeking answers and asking for specific signs for years. I have found great comfort in doing so. You too have the power to ask, seek, and see.

When I was 19 years old, I lived with six other girls in a penthouse in Denver, CO. I was heavily involved in a church and had a huge circle of friends there. There was a new guy at our church who played football for Colorado University in Boulder. Every roommate and friend I had, wanted to date him. For some reason, he sought me out. He called me nightly, sat by me during service, and continuously asked me out on dates. I really wasn’t sure if I was that into him. There was so much hoopla surrounding his "fame". I had NO interest in football and I believe that’s why he may have been attracted to me; I saw him for him, and not for his position on a football team.

I was conflicted though, as I didn’t want to lead him on and keep accepting his invitations to dates, if I didn’t return his affection. So, I asked for a sign. I told God, if I’m suppose to continue to date him that he bring me one yellow rose the next time I saw him. (When you read E-Squared, you’ll learn how to ask for specifics and give time limits.) I did just that and sure enough, didn’t he bring me one perfect yellow rose.

The power we each possess to create our lives and the guidance that is available to us though our high power is real. Tap into it.

STEP INTO IT

I believe you can have it all. Not in the evil-villain way, of “taking over the world”, but whatever it is you want, you can obtain. Tama Kieves, Author of This Time I Dance! Summed it up when she said, “We live in a world that worships limitations.” Think about it; listen for it the next time you're talking to someone. Money and negative thoughts about it, is one of the major limitations we put on ourselves.

“I can’t afford that.”

“I’m broke.”

“That’s to expensive.”

So, I have this habit when I talk to people, in my head when something negative comes out of their mouth, I immediately change those words around in my mind to what they should be saying:

“I’m going to buy this.”

“I’m rich.”

“I can afford it.”

When my kids were younger, I shopped for them at Gymboree. I thought their lines of clothing were adorable. The quality of the material was top notch. They held up through several washes without losing their color or shape and they still looked like new when I handed them down to friends and family.

I had a girlfriend who almost always made a comment about my kid’s clothes when she saw us. I never even noticed what her kids wore. I loved her kids. They were always clean and their clothes matched. I never gave their wardrobe much thought, but she seemed to be bewildered about my children’s wardrobe. She’d make comments like, “Wow! Is that Gymboree?” “Isn’t that store expensive?” “I’ve never been there.” “I shop at Old Navy/Target for the kids, the prices are more reasonable.”

Now, I could have taken her comments as judgment and felt insecure or questioned myself on how I spent our money. Instead, I saw what was going on. I was open to quality and nice things for my kids. (Even on a one-income family budget.) I looked for opportunities for the things I want. I stopped into Gymboree every time I was at the mall. I’d go straight to the back of the store and grab all the best bargains on the sales rack. I’d even stock-up if it was a great deal and shop a size bigger than my kids were even into yet. I’d be paying the same price as I would at the other stores.

She on the other hand, never even thought to STEP INTO the store! In her mind she was limited. She “couldn’t afford it”.

Stop limiting yourself. You too, CAN HAVE IT ALL. You just have to walk through the door and see the opportunities. We live in a world of ABUNDANCE. Maybe it’s not adorable, quality clothing you desire. Maybe you want an Audi TT? Stop in the dealership and check them out. You never know, maybe it’ll be the day they’re giving one away.