Monday, October 21, 2013
As I was perusing the photos on Facebook from my 20th reunion, which I couldn’t attend, I read this beautiful comment posted by a fellow classmate.
Tonight I attended my 20-year high school reunion. I walked away with many aha moments. Tonight I was able to affirm what I know to be true. People have an innate goodness within them. Humans want to connect and feel loved and valued. As you age, you are able to see into each other's souls. When you reconnect as adults, the pettiness and judgments are gone. Instead, you share the trials and successes. You SEE each other for the first time as REAL people with feelings and dreams. The only thing that matters is the journey that you all took together and that is worth celebrating. I wonder what high school would have been like if I had known that then...what if we all saw each other's hearts? What would that world look like? I think it would be pretty blissful!
I had to grab my yearbook just now to help me remember who Natalie is. We never hung-out and I’m wondering now if we even liked each other in high school. All telling from her comment, by the way she talks, I bet we’d be good friends if our paths crossed today.
Reunions use to be unique in the fact that there was a night every 5-10 years; you could revisit your past. With Facebook now, revisiting your past is as easy as sending a friend request. All the unknowns from the past could come to light if we so dared asked the questions: Why weren’t we friends? Why did we ever break-up? Why did you do this or that?
The distinction between the past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion ~Albert Einstein
I believe all those “aha moments” are fuel for our soul. I assume Natalie’s present day was not altered by all the “aha moments” she experienced at the reunion. Clearly by her words she just found peace in the resolve.
If we knew then what we know now, obviously we wouldn’t be who we are today. Revisiting the past doesn’t change our lives, but seeing things in hindsight can bring us peace.
I tend to believe that most things are best left in the past, but if there is an unanswered question that is keeping you from moving on; SEEK THE ANSWER. We are only whole when all the pieces are put together.
Once I knew only darkness and stillness…my life was without past or future…but a little word from the fingers of another fell into my hand that clutched at emptiness, and my heart leaped to the rapture of living. ~Helen Keller
Monday, October 7, 2013
In 2000, after a relationship I was in ended. I met my ex for brunch. As he was telling me about his new girlfriend my young self meekly asked, “What does she have that I don’t?” His reply was, “She has her degree.”
That comment stuck with me for sometime, until I was on a date with someone new. I found myself insecure that night. I could tell my date was into me, but I couldn’t figure out why. He was working on his second masters’ degree and I still held just two associates degrees. I said to him, “Doesn’t it bother you that I’m less educated than you are?” His reply was, “No. I’ve just sat at a desk more hours than you have.” Wow.
I learned from those encounters and eventually acquired a few “tricks” on the way. In 2003, I found myself going into a second interview. I left the first interview feeling a bit intimidated by the size and demeanor of the man that would be my future boss. I practiced color psychology on him, going into that second interview. I pictured myself surrounded in the white light of protection. I pictured him surrounded in pink light. Pink has a calming effect and picturing people in a pink light helps one relax. When I arrived at the interview, I realized the power we each have in steering our own feelings in a positive direction. I walked into his office and guess what this 300+lb. man was wearing? A pink shirt! The interview went great and I was hired.
It’s funny what we take in and let change us. Our experiences and interactions with others do make us who we are today, but we can choose which ones to own and which ones to release. These experiences I had shaped me into the person I am today, one that sees all people, no matter their backgrounds, as equal.
I’m no longer easily intimidated. People are people, not their titles or “image.” I’ve been in large rooms full of powerful politicians and decision makers. I’ve been on stage with famous authors and celebrities. In these rooms when the excitement of a person’s presence fills others with feelings of awe and admiration, that inevitably turns the perspective of themselves, into feelings of insecurity and unworthiness, I feel empowered.
There’s never a reason to feel less than. When you find yourself feeling this way, try color psychology. When you’re in that room and feeling impressed by one of the other guests, make your way over and spark up a conversation. Who knows what you’ll learn and how you will evolve from that interaction. After all, we’re all equals.