Monday, October 7, 2013


In 2000, after a relationship I was in ended. I met my ex for brunch. As he was telling me about his new girlfriend my young self meekly asked, “What does she have that I don’t?” His reply was, “She has her degree.”  

That comment stuck with me for sometime, until I was on a date with someone new. I found myself insecure that night. I could tell my date was into me, but I couldn’t figure out why. He was working on his second masters’ degree and I still held just two associates degrees. I said to him, “Doesn’t it bother you that I’m less educated than you are?” His reply was, “No. I’ve just sat at a desk more hours than you have.” Wow.

I learned from those encounters and eventually acquired a few “tricks” on the way. In 2003, I found myself going into a second interview. I left the first interview feeling a bit intimidated by the size and demeanor of the man that would be my future boss. I practiced color psychology on him, going into that second interview. I pictured myself surrounded in the white light of protection. I pictured him surrounded in pink light. Pink has a calming effect and picturing people in a pink light helps one relax. When I arrived at the interview, I realized the power we each have in steering our own feelings in a positive direction. I walked into his office and guess what this 300+lb. man was wearing? A pink shirt! The interview went great and I was hired.

It’s funny what we take in and let change us. Our experiences and interactions with others do make us who we are today, but we can choose which ones to own and which ones to release. These experiences I had shaped me into the person I am today, one that sees all people, no matter their backgrounds, as equal.  

I’m no longer easily intimidated. People are people, not their titles or “image.” I’ve been in large rooms full of powerful politicians and decision makers. I’ve been on stage with famous authors and celebrities. In these rooms when the excitement of a person’s presence fills others with feelings of awe and admiration, that inevitably turns the perspective of themselves, into feelings of insecurity and unworthiness, I feel empowered.

There’s never a reason to feel less than. When you find yourself feeling this way, try color psychology. When you’re in that room and feeling impressed by one of the other guests, make your way over and spark up a conversation. Who knows what you’ll learn and how you will evolve from that interaction. After all, we’re all equals.